Tomorrow night around 6:00 I'm climbing into the car and driving five or six hours to Myrtle Beach. It's a business trip. Another week of working like crazy dogs and then dragging myself back home.
I hate the day or two before a trip. So busy. So much work to do and then so much at home too. I wonder if there is a mother out there who doesn't feel like she has to pack the house with enough food for a year when she's leaving her family. Who doesn't feel like everything should be spotless, every errand ran, everything in place. It's the business trip guilt. I think if you say you don't have it you are lying.
Today I've got that little layer of panic at the bottom of my stomach that I'm not really going to get everything for work done before I leave. But right on top of that is a layer of dread, just a little thicker than the panic. Dread and sadness at leaving the kids for a week. It's always there before I leave.
Of course as soon as I leave a weight lifts and I'm quite pleased to have days and days to myself and not have to juggle work and family.
So really I guess this is all a blessing. This life I have. Sometimes I have to come here and right it down to figure that out.....