Thursday, December 31, 2009

NYR #2

Gratitude and Purpose

Quite often at the beginning of yoga class the teacher will ask us to set an intention for the class. Usually my intention runs along the lines of "survive the class so I can get a cup of coffee afterwards" or "only swear on the inside when the pain sets in" or "do NOT roll your eyes every time she tells you to do a pose that is difficult."

But sometimes, before I can stop it, an actual intention comes into my head. Monday it was "gratitude and purpose." I don't know where it came from, but those two words did stick with me during class and for the next couple of days.

I'm trying very hard not to write down my usual resolutions like lose weight, go to bed early every night, not swear in front of my kids, etc. Even though of course I have every intention of starting a diet tomorrow and going to bed on time and reading instead of watching t.v. and never ever raising my voice to the kids. You get the idea.

I'm trying to dig a little deeper and find something solid to place the things I do on. I want to try and get past the surface and build a solid foundation for myself.

So resolution number two -- to approach every day, every moment with gratitude and purpose. No matter what it is I want to try and find something in each situation I can be grateful for. Even if it's pain or loneliness or fear. And to find the purpose in each moment. The deeper purpose, the reason I do the things I do -- whether they are the things I have to do or the things I want to do.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

NYR #1

December 26 has always been my New Years Day. I can't help it, I'm so glad the craziness and pressure of Christmas is over.

I love Christmas. This is kind of a new thing for me. It's always been the hardest holiday for me, but the last few years it's gotten better and this year my family was actually shocked that I was the one pushing to get the tree up and listen to the music and all that. And actually like it.

That said, damn, I'm glad it's over. December 26 is definitely one of my favorite days of the year. Maybe my favorite. It always feels like a clean start.

Of course I start thinking about resolutions. So here's my first one:

NYR #1 -- Do One Thing At A Time

Yeah. That's tough for me. I'm constantly trying to do more than one thing at a time and I never finish anything because I'm so sure I have to get the next thing done. Except I don't finish that either.

So I'm going to slow down. Focus on the one thing I'm doing and do it completely. Even if it's a little thing.

Really this is about slowing down and listening to myself. Which is what all my resolution's are going to be about. I find myself spinning and lost most of the time and I only have myself to blame.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

My Not Totally Decorated White Tree

There it is. My not-quite-totally decorated white tree. It's standing in the corner of my room and I love it.

The boys put the balls on (OK, that doesn't quite sound right) and I haven't managed to distribute them more evenly - or buy more since they keep stealing them to put on their mini trees.

I don't know what's happened to me this year but I'm all Christmassy and cheery.

I think it might be the magic of the white tree. What else could it be?

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

this time i'm back for reals

Good grief. I was all ready to blog every day. Or every other day. Or twice a week. Or when the moon was blue. Or whatever.

And we didn't have wifi at the beach. I know, I know. Poor Me.

Yep, we spent Thanksgiving at my mother-in-law's condo at Myrtle Beach. It's kind of a family tradition now. The boys were in heaven and I don't think they sat still for one second. It's just go go go when we are there, although I managed to turn most of the activities over to their dad.

I even managed to read two books -- Strength In What Remains by Tracy Kidder and Julie and Julia by Julie Powell. Both excellent.

We got home Sunday night at 6:00 p.m. and by 7:00 the fifth and final Christmas tree had been purchased. We started decorating last night, after which I was ready to murder everyone in my family. Merry Christmas to me.

So, hopefully this time I'm really going to start posting again. It seems like the first post after a long break is always a throw-away....