Thursday, November 19, 2009

ok ok OK

I'm posting already.

I don't know what my problem is. That I can't come here and say something. Anything.

So what's been happening?

• Just survived 10 days of a sick seven year old -- not the flu, not strep, not pneumonia, but took an antibiotic to kick it

•Husband has been in school since September. He's getting certified for HVAC work. We thought he would be finished in May and would be working this summer, but yesterday he informed me that if he goes to school until August he'll get a two -year degree. Yes, I managed to not throw a total freaking fit at the idea of three more months of school

•A new yoga studio opened in town and I'm finding my practice again. Best thing ever.

•Despite going to yoga three times a week I'm gaining weight.

•Can I blame the weight gain on going back on Lexapro for anxiety? Let's just go ahead and do that.

•Yes, the anxiety is directly related to the unemployed spouse, the scary economy, and the fact that my job is slower that it has been in 15 years.

OK. So I really meant to participate in NaBloPoMo. Are people even doing that this year? But I didn't. But I really miss reading everybody's blogs and writing. So I'm going to try and get back here and stop avoiding all the things I really want to do.

That's really the thing I feel like all this yoga has been doing for me -- making me stop long enough to realize I'm constantly resisting real, positive change in my life. Things I really want to do, that I can do, that I just refuse to do because I am basically always terrified of making progress.


Mary Alice said...

Really lexapro? I'll let you blame it on that, because I'm blaming my weight gain on GOING to college. See if I didn't care about my grades I might go to the gym. But I can't get good grades, keep house AND go to the gym. One of them has to it is the gym. Good grades + clean house = bigger ass.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Or perhaps you're frozen because the lot of it overwhelms you and you just sit there with the "deer in headlights" expression. Oh wait, that's MY problem.

Vodka Mom said...

you need to come over for coffee. And when I say coffee, I really mean VODKA.

Anna See said...

welcome back! so glad you are back into yoga. i've been out of it for 2 years and have turned into a shrew. ugh.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I'm not even bothering to blame my weight gain on anything but myself.

You have enough going to on to make anyone anxious--I hope some of it turns around soon.

phd in yogurtry said...

It's very hard to push onward when fears and anxieties are pulling you back. Keep up the yoga. Blame the economy, not yourself or your husband for wanting to snag that 2 yr degree. You will get through this.

Stacie said...

Sometimes I feel like the best you can do is keep the peace while you let others make their change. Husband is doing that right now. You can only do what you can do (even if it involves a flocked tree) and try to let go. I have no idea if this is even healthy but I think of the worst scenario and thank God that I am not there. It gives me a feeling of there being so much more room to avoid that situation that I'm freaking out about. I also ask myself what would I have left in my life if the worst scenario happened? Thanks for GNO and you can call me anytime!

Coco said...

Lexapro will do it. At least your hubs has a plan. Beats watching sports and drinking beer. But I know where you are coming from. I lost my job 2 months ago :( Can you spare some Lexapro? Zoloft just aint cutting it.

Ang said...

About to give up trying Nablopomo here- I usually get going with gusto...and blow it on day 3 or 4.

Weight gain- please don't tell me if you lose any because I'm sure to find it right away!


52 Faces said...

Are you more toned? I always remind ladies to go by the way your body feels/looks rather than weight. My middle brother just did a bike ride from L.A. to S.F. (he's crazy) and everybody on that trip gained weight even though they're thinner than before. (Except for their bionic quads.)